35 Funny Birthday Jokes for All

Funny birthday jokes: Thanks for choosing this database of funny birthday jokes! Surely, you can buy the hearts of some people by sending them sentimental, moving and poetic birthday wishes.

However, these are not for everybody. I, personally, just like many other people, always prefer a good joke. And no, I do not think that replacing a birthday wish with a few funny lines is impolite or even insulting. Quite to the contrary, I believe it says just as much: it shows that that you care about the person whose birthday it is, it shows that you want to see him laughing and in the end, it shows you know better than to write him sentimental poems.

Funny Birthday Jokes in the Form of Questions and Answers

Q: What goes up and never comes down?

A: Your age!

Q: What do you call a bunch of balloons in the bathroom?

A: birthday potty

Q: What did one plate say to the other plate?

A: “Dinner’s on me!”

Q: What is it about birthdays that make kangaroos unhappy?

A: They only get to celebrate them in leap years.

Q: Why do we put candles on the top of birthday cakes?

A: Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom.

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Q: Why are birthdays good for you?

A: People who have the most birthdays live the longest.

Q: What do you say to a female sheep on her birthday?

A: Happy birthday to ewe!

Q: What is the meaning of a true friend?

A: One who remembers your birthday but not your age!

Q: What party game do rabbits like to play?

A: Musical Hares!

Q: What is the left side of a birthday cake?

A: The side that’s not eaten.

Q: Why did the cupcake go to the doctor’s office?

A: It was feeling crumbly.

Q: What is the one thing you are guaranteed every year on your birthday?

A: Another year to your age.

Q: Does a green candle burn longer than a pink one?

A: No, they both burn shorter.

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Q: Why did the little girl hit her birthday cake with a hammer?

A: It was a pound cake.

Q: What did the teddy bear say when it was offered a birthday cake?

A: No thanks! I’m stuffed.

Q: Why did the students eat their homework?

A: Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake!

Q: What do clams like to do on their birthdays?

A: Shell-ebrate

Q: Did you hear about the tree’s birthday celebration?

A: It was really sappy.

Q: What did the cake say to the ice cream?

A: You’re cool

Q: What kind of cake do ghosts like?

A: I Scream Cake

Funny Birthday Jokes to Crack at the Party

Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing. I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said I needed an upgrade.

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake… You still chase women, but only downhill.

Little Jimmy was shouting out a prayer for his birthday. “Please God, all I want for my birthday is a new X-Box. Thank you.

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I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said, “Nothing would make me happier than diamond earrings.

David’s wife is mad at him because he forgot her birthday. David saves his skin. ‘Sweetheart,’ he says. How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?

“I’d like to bring all my high school buddies to the party,” said George, “but I don’t want to get arrested.

He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes aglitter, “And tomorrow — tomorrow, I’m going to celebrate my -90th- birthday!!”

Age is important only if you’re cheese or wine.

I’m on a 30-day diet. So far I’ve lost 15 days.

I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

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I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.

Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.” Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”

It’s always a good idea to make friends with babies. It’s a free cake once a year for a lifetime.

My girlfriend isn’t talking to me. She said I ruined her birthday. I’m not sure how. I didn’t even know it was her birthday.

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Besides, there is yet another reason why I believe that in many cases funny birthday jokes are better than wishes and verses. As you know, for a lot of people birthday is not all about fun, joy and celebration.

On this day of the year they start feeling old and in many cases unaccomplished (even if this has nothing to do with reality). When this happens, they do not need somebody to make them think about the meaning of life, preciousness of health, passing time and similar stuff. They need some good birthday jokes to cheer them up!