71+Army Puns To Provoke Your Military Friends Of Every Branch

Army puns and jokes are not only for the soldiers but also for everyone else to enjoy. The army is posted on different borders of the country to protect civilians. The Army has been away from their house for years on duty. They have no entertainment after their duties, to rejuvenate themselves lots of jokes are cracked among themselves and enjoyed. There are a few of them mentioned for tasting the flavor of the puns cracked by army.

Army Puns For Rejuvenation-As Per Situation

71+Army Puns To Provoke Your Military Friends Of Every Branch

Army Puns

  • The Secretary of Defense directed members of different services to secure a building.

The Navy personnel turned off the lights and locked the door.

The Army personnel occupied the building and ensured no one could enter.

The Marines attacked it, captured it, and set up defenses.

The Air Force secured a two-year lease with an option to buy.

  • I asked the Colonel what the lowest rank in the army was.

He said, “It’s Private.”

I said, “Come on, you can tell me.”

  • Why do army personnel wear uniforms?
Minimize casual tees.
  • A recruiter asks an octopus if he wants to join the Army
The octopus says no thanks I’m army enough as it is.
  • I was in the army, but they sent me to jail after serving in the war….

I don’t understand why.

My lieutenant said “fire in the hole”, and I fired in his hole

Funny military jokes

  • Two Soldiers

There were two soldiers in the army, they were best friends. It was war time and they were in battle. One of them started crying, “Oh my god, my legs!” His other friend worried, looked over, “What’s wrong?” The other, “I dropped some corn syrup on it. ”

Five minutes later, he yelled out, “I am hit!” His friend worried, looked, “Are you ok!” The other, “Yeah, it was just a tree branch.”

Ten minutes later, he yells out, “Watch out!” His friend worried, looked, “What’s going on!” The other, “It’s almost curfew time.”

  • Why Electricians should join the army?
They’ll make great solders
  • My husband’s home!

A week after coming home from the army Bill decided to grab a beer at his favorite bar.

“Hey Bill!” The barman says, “Good to have you back buddy!”

“My wife thinks the same,” Bill tells the barman as he sips his beer, “she is so happy I’m back.”

“Oh really, and how do you know that?”

“Because every time the pizzaman or deliveryman comes by she runs outside yelling: My husbands home! My husbands home!”

  • Dad, when you were in the army, did you ever shoot anyone dead?
No son, they were alive when I shot them!
  • What’s the only job where you get to shave your privates at work?
Army barber

Army Puns Captions

  • Why does the American army show up in American cities?
Did they find oil in them?
  • A boy asks his dad about his past.

“Hey Dad.”

“Yes son?”

“Did you ever get shot in the army?”

He looks at his son in silence. Tears start to form in Dad’s eyes, and he quietly replies:

“No, but I was shot in the leggy.”

  • Where does Napoleon keep his army?
In his sleevies
  • Army soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement.
But everyone in the Navy can fathom it.
  • In the army they taught us to treat our women with duty and honor
But never get duty honor
  • Army soldiers have always helped flames.
They like supporting fire.
  • What cheat code do you use to get into the Army?
Left, left, left, right, left
  • A military function is being held where all officers of the Army, Navy and the Air force are present.

The Army and Navy officers described the Air force as the Cinderella of the military.

To this, the Air force officer replied” I don’t know a lot about Cinderella except the fact that she had two ugly sisters.”

Army Puns

  • Why do army snipers close one eye while shooting?
Because if they closed both eyes they wouldn’t be able to see.
  • Why don’t catholic priests like the Army?
Because there are only majors there.
  • 2 men discussing why they joined the army….

“I’m not married and I like war, so I joined the army.” says the first man.

The second one replies, “I’m married and I like peace.”

  • A soldier runs up a hill and around a corner before slamming into an officer.

“Where do you think you’re going, son?”

“Sorry, Captain! It was crazy out there and the firefight was so heavy. I got scared and tried to go AWOL.”

“Who you calling Captain? I’m a general!”

“Wow!” exclaimed the soldier. “I didn’t realize I’d run that far back.”

Single Line: Army Jokes To Enjoy

Single Line: Army Jokes To Enjoy

Single Line: Army Jokes To Enjoy, funny military jokes,

  • My friend recently got promoted from captain to a higher rank. I’m sure it was a major day for him.
  • One day, I sent my baby one day to the Army. They put her in the infantry.
  • People who wear sleeveless shirts in the Army defend their right to bare arms.
  • A man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas later joined the Navy. I guess he is a seasoned veteran now.
  • If you feel like you are not being thanked enough in the army, don’t worry about it. Cavalry officers never say thanks.
  • When my friend was in the Army, Chieftain used to be a rank and not a tank.
  • My instructor told me that he never saw me at the camouflage practice. I replied, “Thank you, sir!”
  • A writer should be comfortable joining the Navy because he is already familiar with magazines.
  • Brooms can be great army officers since they can easily perform good sweeps.
  • The veteran who became a volleyball coach told his students that the most important skill is knowing how to serve.
  • The Roman Army never fell. They all moved to our nearest star system instead. They just became Alpha Centurions.
  • I once heard that German soldiers only ever liked one specific kind of pastry. It was a luft-waffle.

Best Army Puns & Jokes – Question Answer Type

Best Army Puns & Jokes

Best Army Puns & Jokes, army puns, military jokes, , dirty military jokes, army puns captions,

Q: What’s the difference between a puppy and Soldier?
A: If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour, it’ll eventually stop whining.

Q: What does a military owl say?
A: HOO-ah

Q: What do you call a list of E-4s in the Army?
A: A specialist

Q: What does a soldier write with?
A: A weapen

Q: Did you hear about the Soldier who became a loan shark?
A: Lent out all his money and skipped town.

Q: What does a soldier say when they forget something?
A: All shoot! .

Q: What kind of soldier has to be careful around Thanksgiving?
A: A full bird Colonel

Q: Where do military people get all their shoes from?
A: Boot Camp

Q: What do you call a dump that a soldier takes?
A: A troop poop

Q: What do you call a polite Drill Sergeant?
A: A Drill Sergeantlemen

Q: What do you call a Private that got exposed?
A: Public!

Q: What do you call a sergeant in the Space Force?
A: Stargeant

Funny Army Jokes

Q: How can you tell if a Soldier has been using the computer?
A: There’s Wite-out on the screen.

Q: Why did the Soldier put dynamite in his trunk?
A: In case he needed to blow up his tires.

Q: What does a soldier say before they start dancing?
A: Battle Buddy! Cover me while I move!

Q: How do soldiers get rid of bugs?
A: With Raid

Q: What do you call a fly in a Soldier’s head?
A: Space invader.

Q: What do you call 16 Soldiers standing in a room around a beer keg?
A: A dope ring.

Q: What plant grows in a soldier’s garden?
A: Ambush

Q: How does a soldier freshen their breath?
A: With a tic attack

Q: What do you call a soldier’s camera? A: A: Cam-o

Q: How do you make a Soldier’s eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: If a soldier gives you something what should you say?
A: Tank you

Q: If an enemy soldier gives you something, what should you say?
A: Flank you .

Army Jokes About Navy

Q: What is the difference between a catfish and a Soldier?
A: One is a scum sucking bottom dweller and the other is a fish.

Q: What do soldiers like to watch?
A: LMTVs .

Q: What do you call a plan that stinks in the military?
A: An OPODOR

Q: What place on a military base needs to be cleaned up?
A: The Mess hall .

Q: Why do they bury Soldiers 20 feet deep after they die?
A: Because deep down they are really nice people.

Q: What do soldiers love to listen to?
A: Ruck and Roll!

Q: What do you call it when a soldier puts on very good camo paint?
A: Right Face!

Q: How does a soldier say goodbye?
A: Chow

Q: What military branch loves horses?
A: The Nay-vy

Q: What type of sergeant carries a long stick with them wherever they go?
A: A Staff Sergeant

Q: Where do Generals keep their armies?
In their sleevies.

Q: What do you call a high-ranking soldier who hates recycling?
General Waste.

Q: What happened when the soldier went to the enemy bar?
He got bombed.

Q: Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?”
Soldier: “Sure, buddy.”
Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer! Now, let’s try it again!”
Officer: “Soldier. Do you have a change for a dollar?”
Soldier: “No, SIR!”

 

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