100 Funny Christmas Wishes Quotes, Messages and Sayings

Funny christmas wishes quotes: Christmas is a joyful festival of Christianity. Christmas is a festival to celebrate the love of God and family and create a lifetime of happy memories. Traditionally people share happy and funny wishes and quotes with the people in the community. Children wear different face masks and act funny and crack jokes among their friends.

This is a happy festival for retailers as this is a festival where people do a lot of shopping. Children wait for beautiful gifts from Santa Claus and Saint Nicholas as they believe that they will bring gifts for them. During these days schools, colleges and offices remain closed. People exchange sweets and have fun filling happy wishes with friends and relatives. To accentuate the humorous side of Christmas and to enjoy the lighter side of Christmas, we also have a playlist of rock, pop and all the funny christmas songs that are guaranteed to make your day by adding a fun flavor to your celebration.

Funny Christmas Wishes

Christmas shopping is awesome, only when it is for you. Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

My letter to Santa this year asked for YOU! So don’t be surprised when he comes through your window and puts you in a sack!

Hasn’t Santa ever heard of Diet Coke and the treadmill? Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

Your smile is contagious, pass it on to everyone around. Make everyone happy all along! Merry Christmas!

May Santa and his elves bring you bundles of joy and Yuletide cheer! Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

Enjoy this Christmas till you find your name in Santa’s naughty list. May you have a great holiday!

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Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too until the credit card bills arrive!

Remember to smile and enjoy your time. Because when Christmas is over, nobody will care whether you exist or not!

I’ve finally found the true meaning of Xmas, it’s for those people who can’t spell Christmas!

May you do not find your name in Santa’s naughty list this year! Have a blessed and wonderful Holiday season with your family and friends.

I hope Santa doesn’t find all the faults you have been keeping under the blanket. Merry Christmas, dear.

Just wanted you to know that you have literally no chance of ending up on the good list of Santa this year. Merry Christmas to you!

Some people have a great year in their lives and some years have bad people in them. Feeling sorry yet? Just kidding. May your Christmas be full of fun!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your family! Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

I hate Santa! He reminds me of the men who come for 10 minutes, do their thing and disappear for the remaining 364 days!

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and all your cash suddenly disappears.

You are all that I want this Christmas! No actually, I wouldn’t mind a car, diamonds and some cash too!

Christmas is one day when girls get to kiss boys to wish them well without being called a slut! Funny Christmas wishes!

The one thing no one wants to find in a stocking on the Christmas morning, is a key to their own car. Spread the fun and spirit. Merry Christmas.

It’s 25th December! May God bless you and your loved ones all year round! Have a Joyous Christmas! Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

Funny Christmas Quotes

I get a little behind during Lent, but it comes out even at Christmas. – Frank Butler. Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases. – Bridger Winegar

I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. – Winston Spear. Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present. – Don Marquis. Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. – Garrison Keillor

I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange. – Henny Youngman. Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. – Jerry Seinfeld. Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, or permanently personal. – Lenore Hershey

For Christmas this year, try giving less. Start with less attitude. There’s more than enough of that in the world, as it is – and people will usually just give it back anyway! – Anne Bristow

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. My mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. – Shirley Temple

Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa? – Matt Groening. Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

I hate the radio at this time of year because they play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” like, every other song. And that’s just not enough. – Bridger Winegar

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. – Dave Barry

There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas. – Robert Staughton Lynd

Adults can take a simple holiday for children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name. – Erma Bombeck 

Funny Christmas Songs List

1. “I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus” by The Anti-Queens

2. “Christmas in Rehab” by Cledus T. Judd

3. “Merry Christmas from the Family” by Robert Earl Keene

4. “Santa in a 4 Wheel Drive” by The Lacs

5. “Nice List (Blank Space Parody)” by Expectation Church

6. “Present Face” by Garfunkel and Oates

7. “What the Hell (It’s the Holidays)” by Joey + Rory (Featuring Wynn Varble)

8. “Redneck 12 Days of Christmas” by Jeff Foxworthy

9. “Santa’s Gonna Take It All Back” by Toby Keith

10. “California Christmastime” by Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast

 11. “Rusty Chevrolet” by Da Yoopers

12. “Progressive Christmas Carols” by Paint

13. “Nuttin’ for Christmas” by Art Mooney & His Orchestra (Featuring Barry Gordon)

14. “Hairy Christmas” by The Robertsons (Featuring Luke Bryan)

15. “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” by Elmo & Patsy

16. “Grandpa Got Runned Over by a John Deere” by Cletus T. Judd

17. “Leroy the Redneck Reindeer” by Joe Diffie

18. “Scary F**ked-Up Christmas” by Garfunkel & Oates

19. “Another Christmas Song” by Stephen Colbert

 20. “What If Eminem Did Jingle Bells?” by Bob Rivers

Funny Christmas Movies

1.  Holidate (2020)

2. Once Upon a Deadpool (2018)

3. Noelle (2019)

4. A Bad Moms Christmas (2017)

5. Daddy’s Home 2 (2017)

6. Almost Christmas (2016)

7. Office Christmas Party (2016)

8. The Night Before (2015)

9. Krampus (2015)

10. Get Santa (2014)

11. A Madea Christmas (2013)

12. The Best Man Holiday (2013)

13. A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas (2011)

14. Arthur Christmas (2011)

15. Four Christmases (2008)

16. Fred Claus (2007)

17. The Holiday (2006)

18. Deck the Halls (2006)

19. Last Holiday (2006)

20. Unaccompanied Minors (2006)

Funny Christmas Puns One Liners

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.

What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish. Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

How can you tell that Santa is real? You can always sense his presents.

What did one Christmas tree say to another? Lighten up!

Where do reindeer go for coffee? Star-bucks! Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

What kind of music do elves like to listen to? Wrap!

What’s the best Christmas present? A broken drum. You can’t beat it!

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What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places!

What does Rudolph want for Christmas? The newest Sleigh Station.

What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet. Funny Christmas wishes!

What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph. Funny Christmas wishes!

What do you call a scary looking reindeer? A cari-boo. Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree? Nice gnawing at you!

Why is it so difficult to buy Advent calendars? Their days are numbered.

How does a gingerbread man make his bed? With a cookie sheet!

What comes at the end of Christmas? The letter “S”! Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

Who is a Christmas tree’s favorite singer? Spruce Springsteen.

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes. Funny Christmas wishes!

How does a sheep say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad! Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal!

What happened to the elf who stole a calendar? He got 12 months. Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has a novel.

Funny Christmas Wishes for Parents

It is the best time to say, Thank you. Merry Christmas to my parents! Funny Christmas wishes!

Dear parents, I wish you a happy and merry Christmas. May you enjoy the day to the fullest.

I am so lucky to have parents like you. You are the source of my inspiration. Wishing you a Merry Christmas!

Thank you for your unconditional care, guidance, and love. Merry Christmas! Funny Christmas wishes!

I wish you a season full of love and laughter. Merry Christmas to you, Mom, and Dad. Funny Christmas wishes!

Every Christmas in my life has always been the way I dreamed of. Thanks to you, mom and dad. I wish you a Merry Christmas!

You are my motivation in life, so special to me; it’s because of you that I am where I am today. Merry Christmas Mom and Dad!

Dear Parents, I wish you the happiest and joyful Christmas! Merry Christmas! Funny Christmas wishes!

Mum and Dad, it’s time for you to relax and take a rest. I wish you a lovely Christmas! Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

You are amazing parents, we love you more than you could ever imagine. We wish you a Merry Christmas!

To my loving parents, may your Christmas be warm and memorable. I wish you the best moments. Merry Christmas!

The reason why I am so happy and full of smiles is because of you. Have a beautiful and colorful Christmas! Merry Christmas!

Parents are the reason why we are able to make it through life. Thank you. Have a wonderful Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Messages for Mom

Since Santa is not arriving this Christmas. He has sent a message to buy your own presents. Have a Merry Christmas, Mom.

Santa is searching for your gift Mom. You advise him to be organized as you ask me too. Merry Christmas. Funny Christmas wishes!

It’s Christmas time and I am waiting for the gifts. But not from Santa. Where’s my gift, Mom? Merry Christmas. Funny Christmas wishes!

I don’t think you want any gift from me this Christmas. Because you already have such a caring child by your side. Merry Christmas, Mom.

I hope you give a wonderful gift to me this Christmas. My list is kept under my bed. Have a joyous Christmas, Mom. Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

Dear mom, you make every Christmas special for you with your wonderful presents, this year as well I am expecting the best one from you…. Merry Christmas to you mother.

I still remember the times when you would dress up as Santa to sneak into my room….Let us relive those times and I am sure you will look cuter this time… Merry Christmas mom.

No Santa can replace you mommy because you are in every sense the most wonderful Santa Claus… Wishing you lots of hugs and love on this occasion of Christmas mommy!!!

Funny Christmas Wishes for Husband

May Santa give you skill and intelligence this Christmas so that you can buy gifts for me more efficiently. Merry Christmas to you.

Christmas will be incomplete without you. Because your credit card is needed for buying presents. Merry Christmas. Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

The Christmas night is very special for me and only because of you. Even if you are not there it doesn’t matter, but my gift should be there.

Since you are not here this Christmas, my husband. I have asked you as my Christmas Gift. So if Santa comes to pick you up, don’t be afraid. Merry Christmas.

I have asked for a cute and best gift this Christmas. But Santa says he can’t give me because I already have you. Merry Christmas. Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

Warm wishes to my dearest husband on Christmas. On this occasion, I have bought a surprise gift for myself from your side. Thanks for the lovely present. And yes, Happy New Year.

Funny Christmas Quotes for Friends

“Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.” — Unknown. Funny Christmas wishes!

“It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list.” — Unknown 

“I’m only a morning person on December 25th.” — Unknown. Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

“Once you stop believing in Santa, you get underwear for Christmas.” — Unknown

“You know what I got for Christmas? Fat.” — Unknown. Funny Christmas wishes!

“I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.” — Unknown

“Dear Santa, before I explain, how much do you know already?” — Unknown. Funny Christmas wishes quotes!

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” — George Carlin

“I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, ‘Toys not included.’” — Bernard Manning

“Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.” — Unknown

“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.” — Garrison Keillor

“Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”  – Dave Barry

Point of View

Fun and joy with family should be the theme of Christmas occasion. The Celebration of Jesus birthday is obviously carried out on a happy and joyful note. Get in the mood for your loved ones on this Chistmas by wishing them these hilarious Christmas wishes and quotes to start the day joyfully.

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