Hope there is nothing fishy about your sense of humor? Then you’ll adore this collection of hilarious fish jokes for kids and clever fish puns! You will not get any betta jokes then this. You will definitely enjoy the fin-est collection of puns.
Fish Jokes for Kids
1. Q. Where do fish keep their money?
A. On the river banks.
2. Q. Where to go for a bath?
A. To the river basin.
3. Q. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A. A fish.
4. Q. What type of music is best to hear while fishing?
Anything catchy.
5. Q. What does a Kraken eat?
A. Fish and ships.
6. Q. Why don’t fish play basketball?
A. They’re afraid of the net.
7. Q. Why did the fish live at the bottom of the ocean?
A. She dropped out of school.
8. Q. What do you say to a fish when it’s getting upset?
A. You need to calm down.
9. Q. Why are fish so smart?
A. They spend all their time in schools
10. Q. What do you call an aquatic social network?
A. Fishbook.
11. Q. What’s the laziest fish in the world?
A. A Kipper.
12. Q. What do you call a naked fish?
A. Bareacudas
13. Q. What did the introverted snail wish for more than anything?
A. That he could one day come out of his shell.
14. Q. What did the tuna say after the job interview?
A. Thanks for the oppor-tuna-ty.
15. Q. How do you know when something is fishy in the state of Denmark?
A. When Hamlet’s giving a speech that begins, “Tuna or not tuna, that is the question.”
16. Q. What did the walleye say to let you know he didn’t appreciate your last remark?
A. Walleye has never been so insulted in my life.
17. Q. What fish stands out the most at night?
A. A starfish.
18. Q. How do you reach out to a fish that you haven’t seen in a while?
A. Just drop them a line!
19. Q. Which fish gets the most speeding tickets?
A. A motor pike.
20. Q. How do seahorses move so quickly?
A. They scallop.
Cute Fish Jokes
21. Q. What type of fish did the Russian Tsar request for dinner?
A. Tsardines.
22. Q. What do you call underwater organized criminals?
A. Lobsters
23. Q. Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other?
A. “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
24. Q. How do you avoid an infection from biting piranhas?
A. Don’t bite them.
25. Q. Why do fish live in saltwater?
A. Pepper makes them sneeze.
26. Q. How do you make a fish chuckle?
A. Tell a whale of a tale.
27. Q. What is a fish’s favorite pair of sunglasses?
A. Ray Bans.
28. Q. What do you get if you cross a crab and a math teacher?
A. Snappy answers
29. Q. Why is weighing a fish so simple?
A. Because they come with their own scales.
30. Q. Who takes care of injured fish?
A sturgeon.
31. Q. Why do fish swim in schools?
A. Because they can’t walk
32. Q. What’s the lowest ranked piece on the seaboard?
A. The prawn.
33. Q. Where do fish store important documents?
A. In a reef case.
34. Q. Why did the teenage fish get in trouble at school?
A. He was using his shell phone during class.
35. Q. When you visit your fish friends, what should you bring as a hospitality gift?
A. Anything but crabs.
36. Q. What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
A. Dam.
37. Q. What day do all fish dread?
A. Fry-day!
38. Q. What is the staple of a healthy fish’s diet?
A. Plenty of vitamin sea.
39. Q. Why didn’t the fish pass their exams?
A. They worked below C-level.
40. Q. What do you call a fish who doesn’t believe in violence?
A. Pacifisht.
Best Fish Jokes
41. Q. What is the first lesson fish learn at school?
A. The end of the hook is the point of no return.
42. Q. What did the fish say when everyone left his party?
A. Tanks for coming.
43. Q. What’s the best fish to call when you need a ride?
A. Seahorse.
44. Q. Why did the vegan go deep sea fishing?
A. Just for the halibut
45. Q. What did the fish say when his relationship started to flounder?
A. Halibut we chat about it.
46. Q. Where did Noah keep all of the fish?
A. In the multi-storey carp ark.
47. Q. How do fish go from hole to hole when they play golf?
A. With a golf carp.
Bass Fish Jokes
48. Q. Who is the most underrated member in the fish band?
A. Their bass player.
49. Q. What is a fish’s favorite musical instrument?
A. The bass drum.
50. Q. That big mouth bass got caught by a fisherman.
A. Now he is in a real boatload of trouble.
51. Q. What type of fish will never shut up?
A. Big-mouthed bass.
52. Q. What did the magician say to the fisherman?
A. Pick a cod, any cod!
53. Q. What swims in the sea, carries a gun, and makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
A. The Codfather.
54. Q. What phrase is written on fish dollar bills?
A. In cod we trust.
55. Q. What bit of fish doesn’t make sense?
A. A piece of cod that passeth all understanding.
56. Q. What was the fish that stomped all over Japan?
A. Codzilla.
57. Q. Who do fish pray to? Fish jokes for kids.
A. Cod Almighty.
58. Q. What did the fish mathematician say?
A. Numbers are in-fin-ite.
59. Q. What country would fish live in if they could survive on land?
A. Finland of course!
60. Q. Why was the fish such a valuable employee at the charity?
A. He is reely good at fundraising.
Unique Fish Jokes
61. Q. What did the fish astronomer say?
A. The universe is infinite.
62. Q. Why do fish always lose their court cases?
A. They are always gill-ty.
63. Q. What did the romantic fish want?
A. A Gill-friend.
64. Q. What’s the perfect fathers day gift for a fish?
A. A Barbecue gill.
65. Q. Why do lawyers hate having a fish as a client?
A. They’re always gill-ty
66. Q. How do fish cook at their party? (Fish Jokes For Kids)
A. On a BBQ gill.
67. Q. Why should fish never go into business together?
A. They work better as sole operators.
68. Q. How do fish walk?
A. On their soles.
67. Q. Why do fish always give their best effort?
A. They really put their heart and sole into everything.
68. Q. Fish favorite show?
A. Tuna half men.
69. Q. What TV shows do young fish like?
A. Car-tunas.
70. Q. Why are fish so lucky? (Fish Jokes For Kids)
A. They seize every oppor-tuna-ty.
71. Q. What game do fish like playing the most?
A. Name that tuna!
72. Q. How do you tuna fish? Fish jokes for kids.
A. Adjust their scales.
73. Q. What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
A. You might tune a piano, but you can never tuna fish.
74. Q. What do you call a fish that needs help singing?
A. Autotuna.
75. Q. Who does the fish turn to when his piano stops working?
A. The piano tuna.
76. Q. What did the fish say to his girlfriend when they split up?
A. I’m outta this plaice.
77. Q. What did Dorothy the fish say to get back to Kansas?
A. There’s no plaice like home.
78. Q. What did the fish say to his girlfriend? (Fish Jokes For Kids)
A. Your plaice or mine?
79. Q. Where do little fish go each day?
A. They go to plaiceschool.
80. Q. What did the fish say when he moved in to his house?
A. Do you like my new plaice?
81. Q. I would tell you a joke about fish and herbs but…
A. This isn’t the thyme or plaice.
82. Q. What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A. Monkfish.
83. Q. Where do fish astronauts go? (Fish Jokes For Kids)
A. Into trouter space.
84. Q. What do you call a smelly fish?
A. A Stink ray.
85. Q. What do fish teachers say to their students?
A. I’ve got to con-fish-cate your gum.
86. Q. Why is seafood healthy? Fish jokes for kids.
A. It’s really good for the mussels.
87. Q. Did I tell you I checked out that new seafood restaurant?
A. I’m totally hooked.
88. Q. What kind of seafood can you get in saunas?
A. Steamed mussels.
89. Q. Did you hear about the chef in that extremely busy seafood restaurant?
A. He had a lox on his plate.
90. Q. Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco?
A. He pulled a muscle.
91. Q. What are fishes favorite boy band?
A. The new squids are on the block.
92. Q. How did the shark get into college? (Fish Jokes For Kids)
A. Apparently, it got in on a scallop-ship!
93. Q. Why don’t sharks ever pay sticker price when they’re shopping?
A. Because they are sale-fish.
94. Q. Scientists have just discovered that sharks can also squirt ink.
A. Just squidding!
95. Q. Why was the shark so good at singing the blues?
A. He’s had sole.
96. Q. What happens when you mix a fish and a banker?
A. You get a loan shark.
97. Q. What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
A. He got Lockjaw.
98. Q. What did the shark’s friends tell her when her relationship ended?
A. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.
99. Q. What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
A. As far away as possible.
100. Q. Why did the shark cross the road?
A. To get to the other tide.
101. Q. Did you hear about the newlywed shark couple?
A. They are swimming along nicely.
102. Q. Why was the Japanese fish so bashful around his crush?
A. He was feeling koi.
103. Q. Have you ever met a shy fish? (Fish Jokes For Kids)
A. They’re very koi.
104. Q. What do you call a fake koi fish?
A. A de koi.
105.Q. What do you say to a fisherman on his birthday?
A. Hope you have a reely good day!
106. Q. Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
A. Pier pressure.
107. Q. My father told me to never date a fisherman?
A. They’ll only string you along.
108. Q. The fisherman is a very below-average boxer?
A. All he can throw are hooks.
109. Q. Did you hear about the illiterate fisherman?
A. He lost at “C”.
110. Q. Why is a fisherman so stingy?
A. Because his work made him sell-fish.
111. Q. How many fish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Only one, an electric eel.
112. Q. Why did the fish start a charity?
A. He was reely good at findraising.
113. Q. What did the fish say when eels crashed into his party?
A. Moray the merrier!
114. Q. Why will fish never take responsibility?
A. Because it’s always salmon else’s fault.
115. Q. What happens when you mix salmon and Nutella together?
A. You get salmonella.
116. Q. What party game do fish like to play?
A. Salmon Says.
117. Q. What did the fish say at the interview?
A. Let minnow when you want me to start.
118. Q. What happened when the fish listened to loud music?
A. It gave him a haddock.
119. Q. What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A. I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!
120. Q. Why did the octopus cross the road? (Fish Jokes For Kids)
A. To get to the other tide.
121. Q. What do you call a fish that knows addition?
A. An Octoplus.
122. Q. Who is the leader of the underwater transformers?
A. Octopus Prime.
Sea and Ocean Jokes
123. Q. What did the ocean say to the sand?
A. Nothing, it just waved.
124. Q. Why did the restaurant sell bad fish?
A. Long time no sea.
125. Q. Why can’t fish have romantic relationships?
A. They are scared of intima-sea.
126. Q. Why did the fish get bad grades?
A. Because it was below sea level.
127. Q. How does a school of fish keep up to date about sea life?
A. They listen to the current news.
128. Q. Who keeps the ocean clean?
A. A mermaid.
Octopus Jokes
129. Q. Why is an octopus always ready for war?
A. They’re well-armed.
130. Q. Where do lady fish keep their money when they’re out and about?
A. In an octurpurse.
131. Q. What do you use to make an octopus laugh?
A. Ten-tickles.
132. Q. Who took the baby octopus for ransom?
A. Squidnappers!
133. Q. What do you call a fish that you bring to an event?
A. An Octoplus one.
134. Q. Where do you find an octopus that’s going through a rough time?
A. On squid row!
135. Q. How do you get an octopus to laugh? (Fish Jokes For Kids)
A. Give it tentacles.
136. Q. What do you get when you cross a jacket with an octopus?
A. A coat of arms.
Goldfish Jokes
137. Q. What is the most expensive kind of fish?
A. A goldfish.
138. Q. What’s weirder than seeing a cat fish?
A. Seeing a goldfish bowl.
139. Q. Did you hear about the goldfish who went bankrupt?
A. Now he’s a bronze fish.
140. Q. Why are goldfish orange? (Fish Jokes For Kids)
A. The water makes them rusty!
141. Q. Where does a goldfish go on holiday?
A. Around the globe.
142. Q. What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
A. Damn.
143. Q. Why did the fish get bad grades? (Fish Jokes For Kids)
A. Because it was below sea level.
144. Q. What do you call a fish with two legs?
A. A two-knee fish.
145. Q. What do you call a fish with no legs?
A. A fish.
Fish Jokes Elaborated
146. Q. A little fish walks into a bar. The bartender asks the fish “What can I get you?”
The little fish replies (gasping) “Water! I need water!”
147. 2 Parrots are sitting on a perch. Fish jokes for kids.
One bird asks the other one “Does something smell a little fishy to you?”
148. A couple are swimming in the ocean when a pod of dolphins decide to join them.
The man turns to the woman and says “no fin is better than swimming with dolphins.”
149. Q. What do you get if you cross fishing tackle with an old smelly sock?
A. Hook, line and stinker.
150. Q. Where do you find a fish in orbit? (Fish Jokes For Kids)
A. Trouter space.
151. 2 fish are in a tank, one says to the other one “I’ll drive, you can shoot the guns”
152. A. What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
A. Drop it a line
153. Q. Which country do fish like to go for a vacation?
A. Finland
154. Q. What did the pirate fish make the prisoner fish do?
A. Walk through the plankton.
155. Q. What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
A. You can’t Tuna Piano.
156. Q. What kind of fish eats mice? (Fish Jokes For Kids)
A. A catfish
157. Q. Why are dolphins smarter than humans?
A. In the space of 2 hours they can train a persons to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
158. Q. What is the easiest way to catch a fish?
A. Have someone throw it at you.
159. Q. What do you call two barracuda fish?
A. A pairacuda.
Funny Fish Puns – One Liner
- That is absolutely gill-iant!
- We, the jury, find this site gill-ty of too many fish puns!
- Are you trying to gill-t me into thinking of a better pun?
- Don’t try to gillt trip me I know exactly what you’re doing.
- That scientist is gilliant!
- Stop carping on; you’re giving me a haddock.
- I’m getting such a haddock.
- I’ve haddock with this place!
- If you keep pestering me I’m going to get a haddock.
- I like hali-butts and I cannot lie.
- I like to make fish puns just for the halibut.
- Don’t be koi about it.
- Don’t be koi, tell me your fish puns.
- I was a bit koi.
- You’re krilling me, smalls.
- That’s absolutely krill-iant!
- I will love you for a krill-ion years
- Ahh guys, you’re krilling me now!
- I will love you for a krill-ion years
- What is the scariest thing in the ocean? A serial killer.
- Let minnow if you can make it.
- If you can think of a better pun, let minnow.
- She’s my nemo-sis.
- You’ve met your nemo-sis.
- Salmon had to say it.
- I’m in love with salmon as well.
- Salmon, call a doctor!
- Create your own fish pun, don’t leave it to salmon else.
- Holy Shrimp! This Scampi happening.
- Let’s all just calm down.
- Looking for my sole mate.
- Off to do some sole searching.
- Who will be the sole survivor?
- I really believe that to the bottom of my sole.
- I can feel that in my sole.
- This is neither the time, nor the plaice for this.
- Don’t trout yourself.
- Get out of here.
- Any fin is possible if you just trout yourself.
Fish Jokes One Liners – Fish Jokes For Kids
- This is going to get a-trout-cious real quick!
- When fish fly on rockets they go to trouter space.
- The way they handled that is a-trout-cious.
- What a great oppur-tuna-ty!
- You can’t tuna guitar so you betta know how to play.
- Fish motivation. Seize every oppor-tuna-ty.
- You can tuna guitar but you can’t tune a fish.
- I feel great every day of the week, barramundi.
- I’m piranha roll! (On a roll or on parole).
- This is the first time I’m herring about it.
- That’s a load of pollucks.
- We all just need to calm down now; I’m a bit shell shocked.
- Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
- We whaley need to stop now!
- Life as a fish can be overwhalming.
- He really schooled you then.
- I’m waiting for someone else to mussel in on this now.
- I fish upon a star.
- This blog has a future, there’s so much porpoise.
- We should dolphinitely scale back on the fish puns.
- Most fish will tell you they like their food cold, and their bait a little worm.
- Some people don’t like fish puns, but they are kraken me up!
- We’re swimming along nicely.
- Have you thought of a fish pun yet, or do you need some time to mullet over?
- Does anyone else want to step up to the bait?
- Who wants to cuttle with me?
Best Fish Puns – Fish Jokes For Kids
- Let’s make this o-fish-all.
- I’m so so-fish-ticated.
- What a fish-ous rumor.
- I’m hooked!
- Fish better have my money!
- Best fish on your birthday!
- Seems a bit fishy to me.
- We fish you a merry Christmas!
- You’re not quite up to scale.
- I’m a bass-ic fish.
- DJs know how to drop that bass.
- Because I’m all about that bass.
- DJ’s aren’t allowed to work at fish markets because they’re always dropping the bass.
- All I sea are bass-icaly cod awful puns!
- Sometimes dealing with fish is a pain in the bass.
- You betta believe it.
- Nothing get betta than this.
- You should know betta.
- Can you do any Betta than this?
- What a load of carp.
- Holy carp, it’s your birthday.
- Carp-e diem!
- Stop carping on; you’re giving me a haddock.
- Sorry, my attempt at a joke was a pile of carp.
- Some fish just carp on and on.
- Oh what a load of carp.
- Holy carp we’re only halfway through the week.
- Cod I borrow something from you?
- All I sea are bass-ically cod awful puns.
- Thank cod you’re here.
- I won’t be cod dead participating in this.
- Not bad, cod do better.
- I won’t be cod dead participating in this.
- Cod you pass me the salt?
- Dear Cod, I laughed so hard!
- I wouldn’t be cod dead wearing that
- Any fin is possible, just don’t trout yourself!
- Don’t listen to them, I think you’re fin-tastic!
- No fin is better than swimming with dolphins.
- My dad was a fisherman, but he quit because his net income wasn’t enough.
- This is a big issue a-monk fisherman.
- I only fish on days that end in “Y.”
- I plead gill-ty.
- I need a gill-friend.
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