Famous Homer Simpson Quotes From Very Popular Sitcom to Enjoy the day. A Little about this sitcom: Homer Jay Simpson is one of the main characters of the famous American animated situational comedy “The Simpsons”. Homer character is designed and created by Matt Groening, a famous cartoonist. However, this character is named by Matt Groening after his father, Hower Groening.
Famous Homer Simpson Quotes
“You keep disappearing and reappearing and you’re not even funny. You’re just like that show Scrubs!” ― Homer Simpson.
“Why would women want to go to a gym if there were no men there watching them and judging them?” ― Homer Simpson.
“Sleeping bags on the floor, a roaring fire. It’ll be just like the time they kicked me out of the sporting goods store.” ― Homer Simpson.
“Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa’s teeth, he gets to break yours.” ― Homer Simpson.
“I’ve gone back in time to when dinosaurs weren’t just confined to zoos.” ― Homer Simpson.
“Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.” ― Homer Simpson.
“I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.” ― Homer Simpson.
“I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called “The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down.”” ― Homer Simpson.
Homer Simpson Quotes Beer
“No TV and no beer makes Homer something.” ― Homer Simpson
“Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you’d step over your own mother just to get one!” ― Homer Simpson
“I like my beer cold… my TV loud… and my homosexuals flaming.” ― Homer Simpson
“My beer! You never had a chance to become my urine!” -Homer Simpson.
“Alright brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me but let’s just do this, and I can go back to killing you with beer.” -Homer Simpson.
“A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center.” -Homer Simpson.
“I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich.” ― Homer Simpson
“I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers… I can get by with one.” ― Homer Simpson
Funny Homer Simpson Quotes and Sayings
“Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever…thy will be done.” ― Homer Simpson
“Step aside, everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.’” ― Homer Simpson
“Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?” ― Homer Simpson
“Operator! Give me the number for 911!” ― Homer Simpson
“I can’t even say the word “titmouse” without giggling like a schoolgirl.” ― Homer Simpson
“Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!” ― Homer Simpson
“All my life I’ve had one dream, to achieve my many goals.” ― Homer Simpson
Homer Simpson Quotes Donuts
“Give me liberty or… OOOO… a jelly donut!” ― Homer Simpson
“Mmm mmm… donuts.” ― Homer Simpson
“It’s donut o’clock time anytime.” ― Homer Simpson
“Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do?” ― Homer Simpson
“Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up 2%, and it’s all because of my motivational techniques, like donuts and the possibility of more donuts to come.” ― Homer Simpson
“Don’t tell me how to eat donuts!” ― Homer Simpson (as he is choking on a donut)
Homer Simpson Quotes about Life
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.” ― Homer Simpson
“What’s the point of going out? We’re just gonna wind up back here, anyway.” ― Homer Simpson
“People can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 40% of all people know that.” ― Homer Simpson
“I don’t know, Marge. Trying is the first step towards failure.” ― Homer Simpson
“Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.” ― Homer Simpson
“In America, first you get the sugar. Then you get the money. Then you get the power. Then you get the women.” ― Homer Simpson
“Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.” ― Homer Simpson
“Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.” ― Homer Simpson
“If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing.” ― Homer Simpson
“I think the saddest day of my life was when I realized I could beat my dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four.” -Homer Simpson.
“When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life…” -Homer Simpson.
“You know, my kids think you’re the greatest. And thanks to your gloomy music, they’ve finally stopped dreaming of a future I can’t possibly provide.” -Homer Simpson.
Homer Simpson Quotes on Life
“It’s so simple to be wise… just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.” ― Homer Simpson
“Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs.” ― Homer Simpson
“English? Who needs that? I’m never going to England.” ― Homer Simpson
“I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.” ― Homer Simpson
“You can have all the money in the world, but there’s one thing you will never have… a dinosaur.” ― Homer Simpson
“You’re everywhere. You’re omnivorous.” ― Homer Simpson
“I never apologize… I’m sorry but that’s the way I am.” ― Homer Simpson
“Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.” ― Homer Simpson
“Why don’t those stupid idiots let me in their stupid club for jerks?” ― Homer Simpson
“How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?” ― Homer Simpson
“OK, son. Just remember to have fun out there today, and if you lose, I’LL KILL YOU!” ― Homer Simpson
“Marge, you being a cop makes you a man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.” ― Homer Simpson
Homer Simpson Quotes of Wisdom
“Eh, everybody makes mistakes. That’s why they put erasers on pencils!” -Homer Simpson.
“Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.” -Homer Simpson.
“Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.” -Homer Simpson.
“To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.” -Homer Simpson.
“Weaseling out of things is important to learn; it’s what separates us from the animals… except the weasel.” -Homer Simpson.
“If something is hard to do, then it’s not worth doing.” -Homer Simpson.
“Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever…Thy will be done.” -Homer Simpson.
“I wish God were alive to see this.” -Homer Simpson.
“Trying is the first step towards failure.” -Homer Simpson.
“You can’t depend on me all your life. You have to learn that there’s a little Homer Simpson in all of us.” -Homer Simpson.
“When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!” -Homer Simpson.
“And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream.” -Homer Simpson.
“Because sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad.” -Homer Simpson.
Homer Simpson Quotes about Work
“Marge, I can’t wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I’m not popular enough to be different.” ― Homer Simpson
“Aaaah! Pink? Marge, I can’t wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I’m not popular enough to be different.” -Homer Simpson.
“I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved there’s no God.” -Homer Simpson.
“I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I’m around.” -Homer Simpson.
“I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved there’s no god.” ― Homer Simpson
“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now it’s quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” -Homer Simpson.
“Son, being popular is the most important thing in the whole world.” ― Homer Simpson
“Don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.” ― Homer Simpson
“Don’t let Krusty’s death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night.” ― Homer Simpson
“I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t….I mean s-m-A-r-t!” ― Homer Simpson
“What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.” ― Homer Simpson
“Oh, look! Pantyhose. Practical and alluring.” ― Homer Simpson
“Okay. I’m not going to kill you, but I’m going to tell you three things that will haunt you the rest of your days. You ruined your father. You crippled your family. And baldness is hereditary!” ― Homer Simpson
Funny Homer Simpson Quotes
“Don’t eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.” -Homer Simpson.
“That’s it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I’m going to clown college!” -Homer Simpson.
“In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.” -Homer Simpson.
“A gun is not a weapon, it’s a tool, like a hammer or a screwdriver or an alligator.” -Homer Simpson.
“Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money?” -Homer Simpson.
“If he’s so smart, how come he’s dead?” -Homer Simpson.
“Marge, you know it’s rude to talk when my mouth is full.” -Homer Simpson.
“Stupidity got us into this mess, and stupidity will get us out.” -Homer Simpson.
“Kids, just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I’m not listening.” -Homer Simpson.
“What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here, anyway.” -Homer Simpson.
“All my life, I’ve had one dream: to achieve my many goals.” -Homer Simpson.
“Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?” -Homer Simpson.
“Roads are just a suggestion Marge, just like pants.” -Homer Simpson.
“I’m really glad you corrected me, Lisa. People are always really glad when they’re corrected.” ― Homer Simpson
“’Do not touch Willie’. Good advice.” ― Homer Simpson
Best Homer Simpson Quotes
“But I thought bankruptcy was the cool law. The one that says, ‘Don’t worry about it. I got this.’” ― Homer Simpson
“The problem in the world today is communication… too much communication.” ― Homer Simpson
“Marge, try to understand. There are two types of college students, jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time.” ― Homer Simpson
“If I could say a few words… I would be a better public speaker.” ― Homer Simpson
“Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed.” ― Homer Simpson
“Marge, your cooking only has two moves: Shake and Bake.” ― Homer Simpson
“If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it’s that pelicans can be used to mix cement.” ― Homer Simpson
“Stupid sexy Flanders!” ― Homer Simpson
Read Also: Best Quotes on Time and Life – Loveframes 2021
“He’s about to learn the most important lesson in the music business: don’t trust people in the music business.” ― Homer Simpson
“As the Bible says, ‘Screw that!’” ― Homer Simpson
“You’ll have to speak up. I’m wearing a towel.” ― Homer Simpson
“Stupid family. Won’t even come to my Rapture. I went to Lisa’s play! which had serious pacing problems.” ― Homer Simpson
“Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.” -Homer Simpson.
“Oh. And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain.” -Homer Simpson.
“A woman is a lot like a refrigerator, : 6 feet tall, 300 pounds… it makes ice.” -Homer Simpson.
Popular Homer Simpson Quotes
“And there’s nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned.” -Homer Simpson.
“Hey Flanders, it’s no use praying. I already did the same thing, and we can’t both win.” -Homer Simpson.
“The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.” -Homer Simpson.
“If you don’t like your job, you don’t strike!” -Homer Simpson.
“Volunteering is for suckers. Did you know that volunteers don’t even get paid for the stuff they do?” -Homer Simpson.
“Son, I’m proud of you. I was twice your age before I figured that out.” -Homer Simpson.
“A job’s a job. I mean, take me. If my plant pollutes the water and poisons the town, by your logic, that would make me a criminal.” -Homer Simpson.
“Hey! He lied to us through song. I hate it when people do that.” -Homer Simpson.
Famous and Silly Homer Simpson Quotes
“If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can’t speak English.” -Homer Simpson.
“I’m going to lose my job just ’cause I’m dangerously unqualified!” -Homer Simpson.
“Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.” -Homer Simpson.
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