53 Funny Valentine Messages, Quotes and Wishes

Make your partner laugh with these funny Valentine messages! Everyone loves to make our partner smile. On this day you see that your partner feels good and is happy and smiling throughout the day.  We have made our efforts to get you the best funny valentines messages and make this valentine day a remarkable one. We hope you enjoy these funny Valentines messages.

 Funny Valentine Messages for Everyone 

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you don’t spoil me today, then I will kill you! Funny Valentine messages!
Someone told me that Saint Valentine is not only the patron saint of love, but also of fainting, epilepsy and the plague. It all sounds like the same thing to me!
If you won’t be my Valentine, you’ll regret it! I am so damn sweet and loving and if you don’t treat me that way I’ll make your life miserable! You better love me you idiot!
Happy Valentine’s Day to all my friends! If you have someone special, enjoy your day with them. If you are single, enjoy not having to spend a bunch of money and waiting in line for a table at a restaurant!
My Valentine’s Day recipe for you: 1/2 cup of hugs, 2/3 cup of kisses, 4 oz of snuggles and 10 lbs of chocolate! Funny Valentine messages!

funny valentine quotes

Let’s pretend for one day that we love each other more than anything else. We can avoid each other for the rest of 364 days!

Whoever said Valentine’s day is only for lovers? I love you my best friend! Funny Valentine messages!

I am not saying that I care about money more than I do about you. But it’s my father’s advice to spend my money on good purposes only! Happy Valentine’s Day!
I love you even more than chocolate and candy. Happy Valentines Day to the love of my life!
I’m going to spend Valentine’s day with my true love…my phone! Funny Valentine messages!
Roses are red, violets are blue, this candy is sweet and so are you. Happy Valentines Day my love!
Valentine’s Day reminds me of our childhood together when we used to fight over the last piece of chocolate and now I would give anything to share the last piece of chocolate with you.
I love you even more than my iPhone. Happy Valentines Day my love! Funny Valentine messages!

 Funny Valentine Messages for Him 

Is it just me or is it a little creepy that Valentine’s Day is represented by fat babies carrying around bows and arrows?
I am on a diet so feel free to buy me diamonds instead of chocolates or flowers this Valentine’s Day.
My friend, I wasn’t sure if it is ok to send a Valentine’s message to a friend, so if it is ok, consider this my Valentine’s wish to you, if not, then happy just-another-day to you!
I went looking for funny Valentine messages and all I found was this useless sentence!
I don’t need silly gifts like flowers or chocolate on Valentine’s Day, jewelry will do just fine.
All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt ….Happy Valentines Day
Today is Valentine’s Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day. Funny Valentine messages!

funny valentine messages for friends

Girl: “I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons.” Boy: “Really?” Girl: “Yeah, you make me sick!”
What happened when the man fell in love with his garden? A: It made him wed his plants!
Valentine’s day is only a few days away…………so remember it’s not too late… break up and save money…..
You’re quite a catch! But don’t feel too bad even good offers sometimes have a catch! Funny Valentine messages!
I found a card for you in time, I really did. And it said exactly how I feel about you. But it was so mushy the envelope went all soggy!
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you, because I was pissed. Funny Valentine messages!

 Funny Valentine Messages for Her 

I wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day with all my heart, and lungs, and liver, and spleen..
This Valentines day if love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine’s Day? Cauliflowers!
“My heart was made to be broken.” Funny Valentine messages!
I seem 2 have luvd u in numberless 4ms, numberless times in life after life, in age after age 4ever.
A 100 hearts would b 2 few,2 carry all my luv 4 u. Dear Alcohol….. Will you be my Valentine?
I am opening an emotional bank account for u sweet heart, so deposit your love in it and you will get the interest.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
I was thinking how proud she would be to be a part of the technology crowd.
Darling, you seem to get more beautiful everyday, but I refuse to wear glasses!
What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?”I’m sweet on you”. Funny Valentine messages!
What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine’s Day? Owl be yours. Funny Valentine messages!

 Funny Valentine’s Day Messages for Friends 

Whoever said Valentine’s day is only for lovers? I love you my best friend! Happy Valentine’s day.
Love is in the air! So don’t hold your breath! Funny Valentine messages!
“Love is a game that two can play and both win. Funny Valentine messages!
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.
When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out
Each moment of a happy luvr’s hour is worth an age of dull & common life.
What I need 2 live has been given 2 me by the earth. Why I need 2 lives has been given 2 me by you.
What did the paper clip say to the magnet? A: I find you very attractive.
What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine’s Day?                                                                                                                                             A: I’m nuts about you!
Q. What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine’s Day?A. Let me call you Tweet heart!
Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp? A: Stick with me and we’ll go places!
Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed’, guess who?” A: A divorce lawyer.
To all my single friends. If no one else loves you, I do. Happy Valentine’s Day! 
Through all the things that came to pass, our love has grown… but so’s your ass.
If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

Access 151+Valentine’s Day Messages For Girlfriend 

I hope that you have enjoyed this collection of funny and romantic Valentine messages and  hope that you have found the perfect Valentines card messages, happy Valentines Day my love quotes, Valentine love messages or funny Valentine messages for friends and family, Valentines Day text messages, . Love truly is the most profound and intense emotion and Valentine’s Day is a celebration and honoring of this most sacred and powerful emotion.

You  are truly blessed if you are fortunate enough to have people to share love with, . Love is hard to describe, it is eternal.  Putting impressive words together is a challenge in itself, to know what should be written in a Valentine card or Valentine text messages. We hope these Valentines greetings messages have helped you find the perfect words to express what is in your heart or inspire you to create your own unique, romantic and touching happy Valentines Day messages.

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